The five items I can't live without: "A bottle of wine, a crust of bread, and thou. Or thee. No, it's definitely thou. Whatever."
Why you should get to know me: "I am one of the funniest people I have ever met."
Song or album that puts me in the mood: "'Pretty Woman,' 'Lady in Red,' 'Unforgettable.'"
Why you should get to know me: "I get the cosmic joke."
If I could be anywhere at the moment: "Eating the next great meal of my life in Tokyo."
In my bedroom, you'll find: "Seven pair of Adidas Superstars."
More about who I'm looking for: "Someone who can do absolutely nothing and not say 'I'm bored.' No boring people, please."